how difficult it is

I want to show her that I'm sure, I want to show her that I am so much more but when I have the strength she is nowhere to be found. not knowing if I'm enough for anyone to see, I don't feel like one or the other right now I'm just in the middle and no one can see how difficult it is. I want to break myself out of this life and just run, no one can actually see what is hidden farthest in. they can't see the words that want to break free, I've never been the one they see I hide myself behind the masks to look perfect for everyone else. 

But in the end it won't work and I will break. In dreams, I am the one I want to bee and I'm not hiding, and everybody sees me for the one i am. I dare go to her and show her everything that's in my heart, how long will it take before i can do it outside of  my dreams?

she is in my heart and i can't show her...

I'll close my eyes and just forget everything.

  Or should I hope that better times lie ahead.