how difficult it is

I want to show her that I'm sure, I want to show her that I am so much more but when I have the strength she is nowhere to be found. not knowing if I'm enough for anyone to see, I don't feel like one or the other right now I'm just in the middle and no one can see how difficult it is. I want to break myself out of this life and just run, no one can actually see what is hidden farthest in. they can't see the words that want to break free, I've never been the one they see I hide myself behind the masks to look perfect for everyone else. 

But in the end it won't work and I will break. In dreams, I am the one I want to bee and I'm not hiding, and everybody sees me for the one i am. I dare go to her and show her everything that's in my heart, how long will it take before i can do it outside of  my dreams?

she is in my heart and i can't show her...

I'll close my eyes and just forget everything.

  Or should I hope that better times lie ahead.

she is my Lois Lane

yes she makes me feel free...

My brain is burning up and I really don't know what to tell her, she is one of a kind but I can't set my finger on it.. she is my Lois Lane she will maybe always be here but never really be mine. not because I save the world but yeah you get the picture.  when i drink i stop worrying about what i feel and just let it out.


some of my favorite songs all with strong messages that makes me want to give it all to be able to love like before. now days I'm dead inside just like a shell but one day i want to break free, and go to you.

 

ran out of courage

I've changed a lot, and I feel like a different person. I don't know who I really am the more I try the more confused I get. It was a long time ago that I was happy and thrilled, in the last two years I have locked in myself and not bothered about how I feel. but it has started to change there is one person out there that makes me feel good and makes me feel alive. she means a bit but it doesn't matter, because it's just a one-way feeling. and she is not interested. i ran out of courage and I'm scared of being left behind, love is so much more than just feelings but if i can't feel how can i know. take my hand and look in to my heart what to you see? 

I would take a chance if you would...